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Reading this web sightis a bit like having a little pice of J. still here. For me this is a window in to his adult life some of wich surprised me, He was just as jenerous and sweet to others as he was to me. I'm proud of the intelegent adult that he became.
Every time each of us log on to this sight I like to imagine that J. is above our sholder reading all of these memories and he's smiling. I try not to cry offten; it would make him sad. Allthough we all are in a morning perioud life has to go on and comfort comes from the most unexpected places.
If you are there at your computer wether you knew J. well or not, if you have thaught about it and you feel ready, log on and share your stories. Kathy Sears I met you when I came through New York . J. and I spoke realy offten during that pereoud. Thanks for reminding me of that block of time. If any one out there wants to vent feel free to e-mail or call.
Mom, Dad, Tati, Troy, Bev and Gramps thanks for all the family support that you have lent Bob and I.
This coming Feb 13th J. would have been 31. A beautiful soal and I'm glad he was my little brother, I have only fond memories of him.

moandbob@hotmail.com
Chico, CA USA - Tuesday, December 04, 2001 at 03:08:45 (PDT)

I shared the apartment with JJ a few years back & although I haven't been in touch with him for a while, when all this happened, I remembered he worked in that area. I hoped he was ok, but a few days later I was watching CNN and they showed his picture that he was among the missing. I could hardly believe it! The grief I was already feeling took on a new form. Many memories and thoughts of him have come to my head. Having shared the apartment with him for almost 2 years, I thought maybe some of my little memories would lend some comfort or kind thoughts to his friends and family.
I remember him singing around the apartment - he'd sing very low or hum, but he seemed to enjoy singing a little, although a bit off-key, almost every day. There was never a lot of food in our place at that time, but JJ always had peanut butter and jelly in the cupboard and a bottle of cranbury juice in the refrigerator - this seemed to be the staple for him. At night, if we were both home and good TV was on, we'd watch together in the living room. Jay was a big fan of NBC's Thursday night shows then (Friends, Seinfeld, ER). If he wasn't going to be home on Thursdays he'd tape them. He always called those programs in particular "The Shows".
JJ was a very kind and considerate person. After a few bad dates I had, I confided in him a couple times, looking for some helpful advice or just looking for someone to vent to, and JJ listened and offered some advice and managed to cheer me up on a few of those occasions by making me laugh or just making light of a situation. One night he had an extra ticket to a Knicks game and asked me if I'd like to go. I jumped at the chance having never seen and NBA game and we had a fun time that night picking out a few celebrities in the crowd.
These are just a few of the things that have been popping in and out of my head since mid-September. My thoughts are with JJ's family and friends at this time. I hope each day you become stronger and my best to all of you.
Thanks - Kathy

To Lisa Singer and Aguiar family

With the holidays approaching right around the corner iam deeply saddened by the loss we have all endured as the result of the September 11th tragedy. The Aguiar family and Lisa Singer and friends will have a hard time coping with this time of year because they have lost a part of their family. I know how i would feel if i lost my son Troy or my husband Garry. This is a difficult time and i hope that you all can endure it and go on living because Jay would have wanted that. Again my condolences to all of you.

Taciana,

I read Jay's site EVERYDAY!!!

I go back to "old" stories and then new ones. In a way, it's like a novel, you read some chapters and want to know more. Not only are we all keeping in touch, but it's like we are learning more about JJ and how he was with various people. Sometimes when I'm reading some peoples stories, it's like I can hear his voice saying certain things, I smile a lot when I'm reading the site, for some reason it fills my heart with joy, just to know that there are good people out there.
I have no doubt that JJ is watching over the ones he loves, there is a meaning to his life, to all our lives, we are not on this planet for the hell of it, those of us that are still here must learn from the ones that have left. We have no idea if Jay is happier now than when he was here. We can only hope that he is, and beleive that we will join him and many others we love.

Wouldn't it be great if we could rewind?? Man, I would constantly be rewinding.

I know wha you mean about quality fun time with Sebastian. I am now divorced and, as you know, I have three boys and when I'm with them, it's that same feeling that all the time is never enough, so we have much more quality time together now than when I was married and, I guess, took it for granted!!

I really hope that you are doing well, coping and finding strength wherever and with whatever you can. Smile at life, not all is bad, you are fortunate enough to have the most precious son, a true friend, a continuation of you, a worry also, but I'm more than sure he fills your heart. Only whan you're a Mom do you appreciate so many things that our Moms did for us and we took for granted!!

Hang in there and keep positive thoughts.

Thinking of you, well, of the whole Aguiar family, I send you a kiss and a tight hug full of friendship and saftey.

With love
Carla

taciana23@yahoo.com
Mill Valley, CA USA - Saturday, November 10, 2001 at 21:42:32 (PDT)

Well I was going to wait until JJs birthday but time got the better of me. (I just didn’t know what to say and thought time might help – big mistake!)

The month of September was unbelievable - I somehow thought this cannot be happening to JJ. Attending the JJs memorial just suddenly brought it home - he is no longer with us, he won't be there when I visit New York, he won't be there at my wedding and some day I hoped to visit JJ and Lisa at ‘the shore’ or go on a sailing holiday together.

Although JJ is no longer with us I thank God JJ and I did see each other frequently over the last few years.

Let me explain when and why I met JJ.

My parents had just moved to Portugal, my brother Robert was on his year off between School and University and my Mother had met Mrs. Aguiar at a drinks party. It is the same old story with parents - "You have a son, I have a son. Why don't we introduce them?" Robert met JJ and hit it off. When I arrived in Portugal the house was chaos, movers, settling in etc.I was 15 and had only been out to bars a few times and after a few days in Portugal was invited to go out with JJ, his sister Monique, and Robert to go to the cinema. I remember it to this day. It was ‘Fatal Attraction’. We then went on to ‘Aloa Aloa’ in Cascais and was introduced to what was to be my social circle for the next ten or so years.

I owe JJ so much. He not only introduced me to some of my best friends, he became one of my best friends. As I am sure JJs family is aware it is the price you pay from moving around the world. You meet some people in your life and no matter how infrequently you see them they are always in your thoughts. That is how I remember JJ. He was a friend who was always there, and he always will be.

One of my favourite stories of JJ is one New Years Eve JJ, my brother and I were in a bar in Portugal - great music, everyone in a festive mood, and a girl making eyes at my brother. Like myself, my brother is fairly shy and did not want to make the first move. JJ, of course, had no such inhibitions. He placed his drink on the bar, stumbled over to this gorgeous woman and said, "Hey, come meet my buddy Bob!" (at which point she looked at him in disgust and moved away – God bless him, he tried!) How many friends do you know who would make such a fool out of himself to get you a girl? It was one of those moments that you will always remember, if you were there.

I think about JJ constantly. How did someone like JJ become wrapped up in what has happened? JJ had worked so hard to get to where he was - his job, his friends and most importantly Lisa. The last time I saw JJ he was so happy. Thank you Lisa - I know he loved you deeply. You gave him so much. I remember the last time I was in New York and stayed with Katz and Carlos we came over to Hoboken to meet JJ and went out for dinner and drinks - all he talked about was how much he was looking forward to getting down to 'the shore'. I regret not coming down to stay with you both, but Bronwen and I would love to come down and see you Lisa at 'the shore'.

After attending the memorial I can understand why he loved being there. He had the sea, the sun (most of the times), his friends and the love of his life. I for one can say that JJ was a man who loved the opposite sex, but I never had never seen the JJ so much in love than at my brothers wedding. Lisa and JJ in true style became the life of the party towards the end of the night and 'Hot Tub Harry' was born, but that is another story.

JJ, thank you for so many fantastic memories. I will never forget your friendship, generosity and your sense of humor - I had a great time whenever I was with you.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Take care Buddy.

Scott

I was at school with JJ and in the same class for 2 years (1986-88)in Portugal. I know I speak for many of us when I say how wonderful he was and how he will be missed. My thoughts are with with his family and friends at this terrible time.
We will always remember all the good that JJ had to give.

I am writing once again in the guestbook as today, October 22nd would have been exactly one year since J and I first met. All I can say is "when you least expect it...." I was running an equestrian event(hunter pace) for the Colts Neck Trail Riders Club at Hop Brook Farm. Not exactly a future mate-meeting environment,(jeans,ponytail,no-makeup,smellin-like-a-horse...you get the picture) J came walking down the hill looking for his friend Charlie...who manages the barn/boarding/beverage committee at Hop Brook. I will never forget J's smile! We hit it off instantly and discovered we had so much in common...Wall St., Portugal, horses, and......wanting a cold Coors Light on an unseasonably warm October day. After J impressed me with getting up on "Bubba," Charlie's 18 hand Percheron/Draft mount after not having been on a horse in 10 years and trotted around, we sent him on a "wild goose/beer chase." We all ended up hanging around well after the pace and swapped stories and had many laughs. Little did I know at the time, Charlie was playing "cupid" and suggested we all go to "Huddy's," a local pub in Colts Neck for another round. I should have been suspicious when everyone quickly disappeared after one beer. We came back to my farm and...how 'bout those Mets??? We ended up catching NONE of the game. No not what you think...only rated PG...we really just enjoyed talking about how much we had in common and enjoyed each other's humor. Realizing he had to drive back to Hoboken on a Sunday night, he kind-of-sheepishly handed me his business card with his cell phone number written on the back. I already knew I would see him again. I was at work the next day and had his card in my handbag. Now, I wasn't going to call him even though it was the year 2000!! No, I decided to drop him a light-hearted email instead that just said that I had fun, hoped he got home safe and asked if he had any idea of the Met game score. Well, that is all the provocation, sheepish-J needed. We later joked about it...and the rest was history...or so we thought. I will always remember and cherish that day and the 365 others to follow...I only wish that there was a lifetime more to follow. I really do have so many great memories and so many friends and family members whom I would not have met without J. That is what I am left with. I hope for a day when sadness, shock, and anger can be somewhat replaced by those memories. I will always miss him in my life. He brightened so many lives...this website, this messageboard will be "living proof." To all the people who have contributed, thank you. To all of the people who have been trying to keep me busy and who have been reminding me that he would want me and his family and friends to "go on living and to be happy," thank you. The memorial was perfect...thank you Skip,Hannah,Neil,Doug,Margarita,Gwen,Dwayne,(whew) (way too many to mention...) for putting it together. The "Big Chill" soundtrack at the end of the evening was exactly what J would have wanted. It gave many the slight, somewhat temporary, sense of peace we were so desperately in need of. Our despair and sadness were, for an evening, replaced with memories and smiles. To Diane and Joao, Taciana and Monique, thank you for treating me like a family member and for sharing stories and photos of young J. I am left with the amazement that such a horrific tragedy could bring so many people together. DAMMIT!!!...why didn't you get out of that building??? It could NOT have been your time and this was NOT a part of God's plan. There is NO sense to be made of this!!!
I think I am expressing the anger and frustration that many feel. For the most part, I, as do many others, just miss him terribly. His smile, wit, warmth, and genuine concern for people(and animals) will be a lasting memory.

J, I will always love you and after the tears fade, I will always think of you and smile. You were my soulmate, but will remain one of America's heros. May your peace give us strength.

Love, Lisa
(and...Bebe and Sligo, Molly, Oscar, and Froggie...they miss you too!!)

lsinger@optonline.net
Colts Neck, NJ USA - Monday, October 22, 2001 at 18:22:35 (PDT)

Dear family and friends of JJ,
I met JJ on August 31, 1989. It was orientation day at Adelphi University and I was behind him on line waiting to sign in. I saw him sign his name and noticed that it could be Portuguese. He was, and we struck up a conversation.We became instant friends. I introduced him to the local Portuguese community (mostly bars)and even had the opportunity to reacquaint him with John Brito who was a friend of his family and a friend of mine. Small world huh? JJ would eventually transfer and leave Adelphi but we stayed in touch. I spent three nights at the Aguiar home in Cascais (Gallemares)with some friends in the summer of 1990. His mom and dad were so welcoming and warm. I will never forget that experience. Most of all I will never forget JJ's infectious good humor and good nature. I would see and speak with him a few more times over the next couple of years but we did lose touch. For that I am mad at myself. We played phone tag about a year ago and even his messages made me laugh. I always thought of another time that we could get together in Portugal. When people ask me about my college days and college friends only one person comes to mind and that is JJ Aguiar. I know that he too considered me a friend. My heartfelt condolences go out to his family and all those that he touched. It took me a long time to get the courage to sit and write in this guest book. The emotions over the last couple of weeks have all flooded back but I feel much better everytime I check out this site and read about JJ's life. I feel like I never missed a moment of this truly remarkable person's life.

JJ was my brother. So many storys flood through my mind when I think of my little brother. Eventually I hope to share these memories with all of you. I want to thank those of you who have written to this web sight and those who have been there suporting his friends and famaly. Thank you Rick and Skip for the web sight; this wonderful tribute. Thank you Lisa, Neal, Uncle Vic,and Dwain for speaking at the service. Taciana and Father Ewing for your words, and thanks to the incredible people who traveled from different points around the world to attend J's service. You have all helped emensly, with your support in helping my family get through this sorrowfilled time.

Dear Joao & Diane,

I do not even begin to know what to say, but it seems it has all been said by J.J. friends and coworkers. I felt that I got to know him through this website. He was obviously very much admired and loved.

As you know we love Monique like our own daughter and we felt her pain. She has talked about her brother a lot and how proud she was of him. You can be very proud of Monique also for she is a very loving and caring person. A lot of the characteristics that I read about J.J. could also apply to her. They seemed to be very much alike. Our family always enjoys holidays or any special occasions with her for she always brings some special light into the group.

Please know how sorry Charles and I are with the loss of your son. If there is anything we can do, please do not hesitate to email or call our home. We would love to get acquainted with you.

Sincerely,
Carol & Charles Bird

Diane, Joao, Toti, Monique and Van,
Receiving Marilyn Doremus' e-mail while we were away was a shock for both of us. Please know that you and JJ are in our thoughts and prayers.

How well I remember the party at Marilyn and Charlie's where I had the opportunity to meet your entire family....including JJ. What a fantastic young man he was....joking, bantering, and being the bright Son that you will always be so proud of forever.

I tried to get in touch with you in NJ....but could not get the phone number of the Gibson's. Please know that you are in my (our) thoughts now and always.

Clifton (and Joan)

Hi..I didn't know JJ..but I am sure my brother, Adam Lewis, did...my brother worked for KBW as a Senior Trader on the 89th floor of the second building with JJ....his memorial service was September 28th, 2001..Adam left a wife with four young children (18 months to 8 years old)..he himself was 36...I am touched by this beautiful website..and just seeing pictures of JJ, reminds me of my own photos with my bother and the happy times of us growing up, becoming adults, getting married..having children. They will always be with us...thank you for the photos and the website.

Dear Diane and Joao

We remember JJ from St Julian's School in Portugal, being in the same class as our daughter Jane. A lovely boy, showed these foreigners how to play basket ball. A little bemused by some of this English school customs and the differences in the English language. Attending parties with a great ground of kids.

Our thoughts are with you and you must be so proud to have such a great son.

Chris and Joe Rola

This is a very old poem by an Anonymous writer...A reminder that we can find beauty in almost anything...God Bless JJ, his loving family and friends.

DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND WEEP

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.

Find comfort in knowing that JJ remains all around you in spirit and memory. Cherish each new day and allow yourself happiness, JJ would want nothing less for the people he loved.

JJ, a true gentleman. Someone who was always willing to lend a helpful hand.

My friend JJ, I will miss you and your smiling face.

In my thoughts.

Joe baione

joebaione@home.com
glen ridge, nj USA - Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 17:58:57 (PDT)

JJ, a true gentleman. Someone who was always willing to lend a helpful hand.

My friend JJ, I will miss you and your smiling face.

In my thoughts.

Joe baione

joebaione@home.com
glen ridge, ny USA - Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 17:58:27 (PDT)

As we all held our breath and prayed fervently on the morning of Sept. 11th, it was obvious that all of us as a country would be touched and affected in many ways by this horrible tragedy.

We did not yet have the opportunity to meet J.J. We knew of him through his sister, Monique, who has been a dear and valuable family friend for five years now. Knowing Monique as we do and having read some of the testimonials in this guestbook, we are incredibly saddened that J.J.'s life was so suddenly curtailed. Monique, much like her brother, enjoys a good party, always has a huge smile on her face, and is willing to lend a hand at all times. This sounds like J.J. His spirit and memory lives on through his family and friends.

Our deepest, heartfelt sympathies go out to Monique, her parents, her sister, family, and all of J.J.'s dear friends, especially Lisa. May God wrap you close in His arms and bring you comfort. God Bless

birds4@astound.net
Concord, CA USA - Tuesday, October 02, 2001 at 16:26:06 (PDT)

Carlos and I met up with JJ a few times through Scott and, like everyone else, we had a lot of laughs. Really I just want to pay my respects to a great guy, offer condolesences to friends and family and say to Lisa (as if she needs telling!) that really truly you were ADORED. Some people never know in their whole lives what you both shared. When we were out with JJ, he spent his whole time talking about you or looking at his watch waiting to get into his car and drive to you (yeah - i know, we're great company!). Know that you were very loved and blessed and he's smiling down on you and the shore now. If you need a friend in the city, just give me a call - Katja x

Thank you all for making the trip here today to honor the memory of Joao Aguiar.
I know there are more family and friends, from points around the world that wish they could be here also. Their good thoughts and prayers are welcome, I think we can all feel them here in spirit.

Reading the guest book on his web site proves how much JJ is tragically missed.
I hope reading the guest book brings solace to his family and friends.
Putting your thought to words helps to bring peace to your heart.
There is no doubt it keeps his good memory alive.

JJ touched so many of our lives.
His Great Spirit and endless optimism lifted my mood on many occasions.
Even during his ‘blue periods’ he never failed to cheer us up when he visited.
I have no doubt that JJ was happier in the last six months than any time since we met.
Unfortunately that makes his loss even more tragic.

Many a time JJ would call asking what we were doing for the weekend.
Often he would show up at my door, having roller bladed from the train station.
When I was crabby or in a sour mood – he would become my own private cheerleader.
Lets go, lets go out, lets go on the boat, what’s Kenny doing – where’s the party.
He made me a better person on many occasions.

JJ was always willing to try something new or different.
He would meet me at international chamber of commerce meetings.
France, Belgium, The Netherlands we didn’t care.
We would go together and pretend to be international men of mystery.
We golfed together, BADLY. When I needed a fourth for a golf outing he would gladly join in.
You could put JJ in most any situation and he would instantly make new friends or business acquaintances. We had fun meeting anywhere the boat or train could take us. He made no pretences, was a good man, and anyone who met him instantly recognized it.

JJ loved Monmouth County.
The photos of him, at the beach, on the boat, with friends - for me are hard to look at right now.
I know they will eventually bring joy and happiness as a memory of the good times we all had together The pictures document the fun that always accompanied any event that included JJ.
He was filled with endless enthusiasm and the willingness to try anything.

I remember the first time we went wake boarding together,
JJ took instruction from Cato and I, then we threw him in the water.
He got up on his first try, which is no small accomplishment.
After his second turn he mentioned the riding was uncomfortable.
Turns out we had him on the board backwards.
Now right foot forward, he really was cruising.
He loved to whip around the boat on turns, accelerating as he passed the boat – giant smile on his face. Even though he turned out to be a goofy foot, he was the BEST FIRST MATE I ever had on my boat.

For years JJ had no car.
We would go to the car shows together and look at all the new models
There was no doubt he yearned to have a set of wheels of his own.
I think that some nights he would purposely drink less than me just so he could drive the car.
JJ never had to ask twice to be picked up the train station or ferry dock.
To me having no car seemed to simplify life.
But he felt not having wheels was cramping his style.
Like everything he did it was carefully planned, then executed.
Getting the BMW was like an awaking for JJ.
He was now truly free, nothing could hold him back.
I know that car gave him the freedom that he yearned for and his smile brightened even more.

Part of being a good friend to all of us here, and the willingness always do anything for fun is how JJ came to meet with Lisa. Through the magic of a love for horses JJ came to meet up with a very special lady. His happiness in the last months of his life all centered around his love for Lisa. For JJ the world was again fresh and new. As always with all important decisions, his internal planning began. So in love, his job fine tuned and rewarding, anything was possible. Never selfish, always very generous he shared his happiness with me in a way that made it something I could almost touch.

September 11 began as most any other day.
At home doing e-mail, I heard a newscast special announcement on the TV from the other room.
I went in to see smoke coming from the World Trade Center.
Back at my desk, I called JJ to see if he was OK.
He was in the office and advised that they felt the blast and could now feel the heat of the flames.
I guess since everything was happening in the other building, they felt safe.
We practically joked about the stupidity of the person who had flow their plane into the building.
He told me he had to go and would call me back, I never heard from him again.
Our conversation together brings me no peace.
I blamed myself for not warning him to get out.
Hearing that he rallied people to move quickly from the building is in total character with JJ.
His actions, to get even one more person out of the building, make him truly a hero.

I don’t remember much more of that day, just a lot of howling and screaming on my part as I walked in circles around my apartment. One by one, the people I know and care about were accounted for, but not my friend JJ. That evening I drove out to be with Lisa. Dwayne was already there and we tried not to watch the news, instead keeping the TV on old movies. We played the strangest game of musical couches that night. Awake and staring into space, passing out to find one or another of the cats asleep on us as we awoke. No doubt the animals sensed something was very wrong.
As days went by our hope began to fade, replaced by the harsh truth our friend was gone.

What we must preserve now are the good memories that we all have of JJ.
His endearing smile, good wit and effervescent spirit must carry us forward in this new reality.
JJ was a great person, who made friends easily in both social and business circumstances.
He proved that even in the circle of sharks that comprises the downtown business district, you can have a lively spirit and make friends not enemies in the financial district. He made no pretences, and could never be accused of being a poser. He worked hard, lived hard and loved hard. I know everyone here misses him. I know that I miss him very much.

My friend went to work that day, a day that began like any other.
As days go by I still wonder when my little friend will come home.
I know now he will never come home to us and I pray God holds him in the palm of his hand.
I hope to see my friend someday, and because he is there I know it is a better place.

It is fitting that we stand here on a Saturday afternoon.
It is in this same place we spent many days with JJ.
We stand here on the beach our hearts filled with sorrow.
When we go over the sea wall we must try to lift up our hearts.
Our hearts will be guided by spirit of JJ and we will celebrate his life and our love for him.

I think he would want it that way.

Neil Luciano September 29, 2001

I am leaving my house today to drive to Skip's for one of many gatherings at his home. Only today is very different...Today isn't the usual Christmas party or Beach Barbecue. It is a memorial to celebrate the life of a dear friend who has been abruptly and cruelly taken from us, something that seems Surreal...I first met JJ years ago, at one of the Annual Christmas Extravaganzas. I had called and asked if Skip needed any help wrapping the many gifts he would have for the children at the party. JJ was there, Skip introduced us and then immediately J asked if I needed his help. He got down on the floor started helping me sort out the Christmas list and wrap what seemed to be hundreds of Christmas toys. I remember thinking " What a Sweetheart!!" Most of the men I knew would have just settled in with a cocktail, but not J. True to form, he jumped right in to lend a hand. Of course we would have to bust on Skip who would be busy tying up loose ends. One year, Skip's Mom, JJ and myself played Santa's helper and wrapped the gifts together. J ran around getting us the tape, scissors, Christmas paper...you name it! It was getting late and we were all moving at Warp speed like that old episode of "I LOVE LUCY" in the candy factory. Laughing until it hurt and cracking jokes. Like many of us, I'll never forget the day of "The Hunt" at Skip's. Due to a terrential downpour, Skip moved the trackside festivities to his house. Immediately, we knew we had to improvise some sort of "Race". The guys were elected to wear numbers and the girls had to "jockey" them. It was hysterical and J was right in with this idea, gladly volunteering to wear his number proudly and become a designated "Stallion"- ha ha. I remember, him sarcastically saying "Hey Tam, Do you have a Mount yet?" Ha ha, Very funny J. I think Dwayne ended up being mine-but we all got drenched, covered in mud and danced around in the rain like we didn't have a care in the world. Pure Joy. Recently I would run into JJ out and about town, Red Bank or Sea Bright, usually with Skip. Always with that big smile on his face making me laugh. I knew that anytime he was around it was "Party Time" because J. LOVED LIFE AND IT SHOWED. That's how I will remember him. Exuberant, Compassionate and Hysterically Funny. For some reason I keep getting this image in my mind of J somewhere in Heaven with that big smile on his face,a twinkle in his eye, surrounded by "Victoria's Secret Type" Angels waiting for the guys to show up so he can hook them up with his new friends. His positive attitude and enthusiam were infectious to everyone who knew him . I read the beautiful Web site that his family has put together and discovered that Jay's birthday was February 13th (just in time for Valentine's Day?) Then a big smile came over my face and I thought of how appropriate that was. A Born "Sweetheart" full of love and life. My heart goes out to J's family who are dealing with a loss almost too great to bear. I hope they understand that they are not alone in this, our prayers are with them and we owe them a great deal of thanks for gift of J's Life. May we follow his example of Loving life, Loving Others and Always Giving the Gift of Laughter.

TLWOOLLEY@aol.com
West Long Branch, NJ USA - Saturday, September 29, 2001 at 20:20:48 (PDT)

WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY TODAY BECAME:
It is hard for me to describe the sadness that I feel about the loss of such a wonderful young man as JJAguiar. He worked with us [KBW Asset Management] for the last several years, and I came to know and love him as an employee and more importantly as a friend. JJ made me feel like part of the younger generation, even though i am over 70 years of age. The tributes to him in this guestbook are all so touchingly true and representative of the affection so many felt for JJ.

I do believe JJ was destined for greatness. We have all been deprived of his kindness, his humor, his devotion to all of us. In short I, like all of you, am heartsick at his demise.

As former CEO of Keefe, Bruyette and Woods, I have lost over 65 beloved associates in the WTC calamity. I have attended many of the memorial services that have brought tears to my eyes... Today's inspiring "on the beach" service was magnificent in its simplicity and its sincerity.... Uncle Skip.{if I may be so presumptuous}
...well done !!! May God bless JJ's relatives, friends, et al. and .... God Bless America.

Charlie Lott.

TTOL@AOL.COM
JEREY CITY, NJ USA - Saturday, September 29, 2001 at 18:58:56 (PDT)

My heart goes out to the family and friends of JJ. I briefly saw him several times in the past 13 years as I have worked in Ray's (Skip's) office on and off in that time. Today, on the beach, at the most beautifully put together service, I got to know him through family and friends. JJ came alive in my mind and in my heart as words and memories were shared by those who knew him best. My prayers go out to all of you that your memories sustain you as you think of JJ as the incredible young man he was and still is. As long as the memories are kept, he will live in hearts and minds that treasure times spent together. God Bless us all. Peace be with you. Rosemarie ( Ray's secretary)

To all of JJ's Family & Friends,
I met JJ about two years ago when I started a new trading job for a firm in SF. I talked to JJ several times a week by phone and was fortunate enough to visit him twice on trips to NY. When we first met, JJ poked fun at my misspelled Portuguese last name and our friendship grew from there. On my last visit in May, I spent an hour or so with JJ on a slow day in the market, just talking about growing up, family and friends. I will never forget that afternoon. JJ was a very professional and courteous trader, but more importantly he was an honest, friendly and intelligient man. He will always be in my prayers.
God bless.

Daniel Tachiera
Hoefer & Arnett

Please know there are many people in South Carolina who don’t know JJ but who have kept him, Lisa, his family and friends in their prayers since September 11. It seems he has left a little of himself in everyone’s heart. I met JJ in July when he came to Charleston with Lisa, but I feel I know him so much better through this web page and all of the stories. His gift of love and friendship passes through each of you to show how special he was and will always be.

lindylaloo@msn.com
Charleston, SC USA - Saturday, September 29, 2001 at 09:07:51 (PDT)

What I liked about JJ the best was seeing that big smile everytime we saw each other.
He had a great sense of humor and a better "repartee", i.e.,
he was great at the verbal give-and-take, which shows intelligence.

I will truly miss JJ, and though our lives will be a little
less bright without him, his memory will always be cherished.

E. Scott Wingerter

SWingerter@aol.com
Red Bank, NJ USA - Saturday, September 29, 2001 at 09:07:29 (PDT)

Dearest Diane And Joao, we will be with you today in spirit. We were in a little town in the Dolomites when this disaster happened and knew that it would affect our lives in some ways. Why does it have to be the kids? Somehow, after living with urban violence and terrorism in Brasil and Indonesia, having it happen in the U.S. makes it all the more terrible in my mind and heart. Diane and Joao, I think of you every day and only wish there were something useful to say or do. Love to you both, Monique and Tati, Gigi and Ken

J.J was a good friend that always brought laughter and happiness wherever he was. He had this ability of lighting up a room with his presence, dispite his size. Everyone that came intouch with him knows what I mean. Our frinedship grew while we both attended St. Julian's... Cocco and I used to race our motorcycles in Cascais and J.J used to be a willing passenger all the time. There are so many good moments that we had together, that I can go on forever! I kept intouch with J.J in New York, but for the last five years we drifted apart. I regret that; and I hope he will forgive me for that.

To Joao and Diana, I don't know what to say...having a 9 month daughter myself I can't imagine the pain you both are going through. Everyone loved your son and that is what makes it so painful. The ones we love the most are the ones that stay in our hearts forever. I have cried...and it is very hard to contain one's emotions once you see the devastation at the WTC.
Love you J.J, you are in pease now!
J.J thank you for J.J

Prinel7@aol.com
Hartsdale, NY USA - Friday, September 28, 2001 at 23:07:17 (PDT)

J.J was a good friend that always brought laughter and happiness wherever he was. He had this ability lighting up a room with his presence, dispite his size. Everyone that came intouch with him knows what I mean. Our frinedship grew while we both attended St. Julian's... Cocco and I used to race our motorcycles in Cascais and J.J used to be a willing passenger all the time. There are so many good momments that we had together, that I can go on forever! I kept intouch with J.J in New York, but for the last five years we drifted apart. I regret that; and I hope he will forgive me for that.

To Joao and Diana, I don't know what to say...having a 9 month daughter myself I can't imagine the pain you both are going through. Everyone loved your son and that is what makes it so painful. The ones we love the most are the ones that stay in our hearts forever. I have cried...and it is very hard to contain one's emotions once you see the devastation at the WTC.
Love you J.J, you are in pease now!
J.J thank you for J.J

Prinel7@aol.com
Hartsdale, NY USA - Friday, September 28, 2001 at 23:01:59 (PDT)

I remember the first time I met JJ. It was a surprise party for Dwayne at Lisa's house in Neptune. JJ was funny and quite frisky. We had fun that night. I saw JJ more often than usual this summer. He was so incredibly happy. He was in love, smiling and still frisky. He was excited about his future and mostly about Lisa. There was more than the normal glow about him and as always it was contagious.

It is small consolation to know JJ was happier than ever before. I am so sorry for Lisa, his family and friends. JJ is missed.

wkaplan@aromat.com
Sea Bright, NJ USA - Friday, September 28, 2001 at 12:03:49 (PDT)

Dear JJ,

I know you know the feeling in my heart - the words are hard to find
The memory of your smile and the goodness of your soul will forever be with me
I send you my love and receive yours through the warmth of the sun, the breeze against my skin and the bird's song
Rest in Peace my friend

My condolences to the Aguiar family, friends and Lisa.

Leslie Olving

lolving@adelphia.net
Plymouth, MA USA - Friday, September 28, 2001 at 11:03:23 (PDT)

Losing a friend like J.J Broke my heart.I knew J.J for a while when to school together where he was my best friend.I have no words only tears in my eyes.And one thing in a sure God will open his arms to him and I believe it.
Dear João and Diana ,your son was a big loss for me and all my family I love him dearly.
When we were about 10 years old I went to california to visit him and me and my sisters wanted to go to Disney,of course for him it was boring other events were on cooler than time, so when we ask him .HEy J.J Let´s go to Disney he´s answer was always "It´s O.K." and thats what´s what I will keep from him as much as many many memories of friendship.
Love to all Family and Friends of J.J.

Dearest João,Diana,Lisa,family and friends of JJ.
There is no way I can possibly imagine how much hurt,loss and emptiness you might feel at this time...I can can only give you my deepest sympathy for your loss.My heart breaks every time I think about what happened and I wish there was some way I could ease your pain.There are no words to express how I wish there was something I could do.I can only offer you my frienship and tell you if there is anything I can do ... I am here for you.
With much love Liz.

The most beautiful reward of a friendship forged between two people is watching the friendship grow to a point where it gently encompasses others--a point when people of like mind and heart join together and become part of a larger whole. My childhood friendship with Susan LaVopa-Hollandsworth has yielded just that--a clan of young blood whose true interest is seeing that all in our circle are cared for in time of needs-- both good and bad. JJ was part of this clan and in memoriam, still is.

On the same evening Susan first met her then future husband Rick at Willie’s in Hoboken, I too met Rick and JJ--two out-going and wise-crackin’ guys who were also best of friends and, whose friendship offered the positive attributes that have made both JJ and Rick my friends too. Plainly, this night was the initial meeting of two groups of friends that have melded together to produce a special union between two people and their “best man”--JJ--who proudly stood by Susan & Rick as they exchanged their wedding vows.

It is no mystery as to the innate qualities that have placed JJ in the hearts of all that were lucky enough to befriend him. Just a few months ago I recall a summer evening spent at SandBar in Jersey City, where Rick, Susan, Jeannie, and myself were made to smile at JJ’s relentless pursuit of mastering his new state-of-the-art cell phone. With the enthusiasm of a child that has just received a long awaited toy, JJ kept pushing keys with the specific goal of successfully sending Rick a digital text message on his phone. JJ soon came to find that after all his hard work the other phone did not have the capability of receiving the message. The inability to complete the goal was no failure in JJ’s eyes but instead presented a prime opportunity for JJ to inform us that we “should all update our phones.” It was a funny moment and we all laughed. Times like this--as I know there are many--exemplify not only JJ’s sense of humor but also his joy for living and desire to spend time with his friends and family. I am honored to have known JJ and at the same time saddened by the realization that we are all at such a great loss. My heart is with JJ’s family, friends, co-workers and, with Rick, who has lost his best friend. From where I stand, I easily can see how lucky JJ was in having a buddy who cared so much for his well-being and, of course, vice versa. The pages created in JJ’s honor by Rick (and others) stand as a testimonial to both their friendship and the fact that JJ continues to gently encompass us all with such fine wonderful memories. Losing JJ has changed our skyline of family and friends forever.

Respectfully,
PaulieP

I had the pleasure of meeting Jay on only one occasion when he and my Lisa visited Charleston in July. I warmed to him instantly. He had a quick wit and was so easy to be around. It warmed my heart to see how happy Lisa and Jay were together. I am saddened that I have been robbed of the opportunity to know him better. My heart aches for Lisa and Jay's family and many friends. I know you are up there soaring with the angels of which you are now one, Jay. God Bless You and keep you ever in His loving arms.

Nora Faust (Lisa's mom)

NoraTN16@hotmail.com
Charleston, SC USA - Thursday, September 27, 2001 at 14:47:19 (PDT)

Dear Diane and Joao,
There are no adequate words to describe the shock and sadness we feel for the very tragic loss of JJ. Although we only met briefly this Summer we could tell he was someone we would have loved to know better. Or deepest sympathies to you both, also for Lisa, your family and friends of JJ. You are never far from our thoughts and we will remember him.

Hazel, Luis, Jaime, Philip and Marco Carvalho
London, U.K - September 27th, 2001 at 18:37

We are the Aunt and Uncle of Troy Bottrill on his mothers side, please know of our prayers for all of you at this very sad time in all your lives. Be assured of our continued thoughts, prayers, and rememberences of all of the families affected by this senseless act of brutality.

7170 Ellsworth St.
81101-8502 USA - Thursday, September 27, 2001 at 10:02:58 (PDT)

Although I only met JJ a couple of times through my boyfriend Scott, he was one of those people who was always at the heart of things, there are countless funny, silly, naughty JJ stories to cherish - many of them already told here. You felt like you had known him for ever and he was always prepared to go the extra distance for anyone - when i arranged a surprise trip to NY for Scott, JJ gave me 2 Hoboken ferry tickets so we could pop over to see him, and that was the first time I met him! I am pleased that Scott and I can make the trip to remember and honour him this weekend as he really was an exceptional person.

To J.J.'s Family and Lisa,

I'm glad I had the pleasure to work closely with J.J. during the 4 years or so that he was at Fuji Bank. He was smart, humorous, and charming, and, I'm sure I speak for all of our colleagues here, he made our days brighter just by his presence. He always went out of his way to help others; offerring to get lunch when his colleagues were busy, answering the phones, running the deals to the back-office, etc. Whenever we were bored or unhappy, or felt that we were 'misguided' in our careers, we could always count on J.J. to tell a joke or funny story about the boss or something to cheer us up. My condolences to you and to all of J.J.'s friends; we truly lost a good one.

Sincerely, Gail Sommer Goldfarb

ERIC1964@aol.com
Oradell, NJ USA - Thursday, September 27, 2001 at 07:16:49 (PDT)

Dear Jay:

I never once heard you say a disparaging word about anyone.
I have seen and heard you laugh and smile since I have known
you. You have never tolerated negativity, and now I know you
have become a hero, because I know you stayed to help. My
heart goes out to you and all of your relatives and friends.
You were my friend, and I know someday I will see you again.
There will be a terrible accounting for our unfair, unnecessary,
and untimely loss of your presence and good company. This
beautiful international website is a fitting testimonial to
the beautiful and kind person that you were. God bless you
and yours and a pity on those who have hurt you.

glpkelly@netscape.net
Long Branch, NJ USA - Wednesday, September 26, 2001 at 18:59:32 (PDT)

Diane and Joao: Our hearts go out to you and your family.What we would give to roll back time and erase that terrible day! JJ is a charming and intelligent young man and we know how proud of him you are. You and in our thoughts and prayers and we send our deepest love, sympathy and caring. Love, Lynda and Dusty

I met J.J. at my cousin Ricardo’s wedding in San Francisco 8 years ago. I remember him as very fun, friendly and always smiling. Although I did not know J.J. very well, by reading the comments left here, I realize how much he is loved and how much he will be missed. I’m just glad I got to meet him.
My thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends.

Maria Jose Cordovez

I was fortunate enough to meet JJ while we were both studying in NY. We instantly became friends. And while we had our wild days (there were a few bars and clubs involved as I recall), we also had many thoughtful moments together, such as sneaking in drinks into the library at Adelphi.

In all seriousness, in our many conversations there is one advice from JJ that I will never forget and have lived by since “Life is just too short to be negative.”

Apart from his excellent advice, there are three things that I believe describe JJ: his ability to make friends, his ability to make people feel special and his generosity.

He has been a part of my life since college and the one regret I will have forever is not staying in touch with him -- last time I saw him was in London a little over 3 years ago. While I am not real believer in fate, something odd happened a few weeks ago. In the first days of September I was telling my wife Cathy that we should really get in touch with JJ since it had been such a long time but as modern life goes, I never got around to it. A few days after these tragic events, my uncle from CA calls me up and says that a couple of weeks earlier, he received a message from JJ asking for my phone number …unfortunately he also never had the chance to get back to him….

The only comforting fact is that I can see he has made some very good and special friends during that time. I am especially glad he met you Lisa. While we never met, I know you must be a wonderful person and must have made JJ very happy.

Cathy and I are am absolutely devastated. As parents we cannot fathom the pain Mr. and Mrs. Aguiar are going through, as a married couple, we can not comprehend the anguish Lisa must be going through, but we do share the pain and sorrow of everyone here for losing a true and dear friend….with that a word to JJ:

My dear, dear friend, let me for one last time say good-bye with our traditional cheer from the good old days…slightly modified:

Que viva la vida!
Que viva el amor!
Que viva mi amigo JJ, el mejor!

My thoughts and prayers will be with you always.

Tu amigo de siempre,
Ricardo Santos

j was my uncle,I stil can't bleave this happind.I rember when him my mom and me whent to the park when I was 7 we had a good time.

Dear Family & Friends of JJ,

I knew JJ thanks to our business relationship. Always cheerful, quick witted and helpful. I will miss his market savvy. More than just a great trader, JJ brought a joy of life to our competitive business. God be with you.

Marty Kelly
Stifel Nicolaus

kellym@stifel.com
Chicago, IL USA - Wednesday, September 26, 2001 at 10:18:27 (PDT)

I've known J.J. only for a short time, it was during the days of Ricardo's and Cathy's wedding in San Francisco. But I think neither I nor my brother Jochen nor my husband Ricardo, Sr. will ever forget these days of happiness and laughter we spent together. He had such a good humor, he was full of crazy ideas (I still hear Cathy's mother Jeanne saying: oh, this J.J.) and he was so much loved by us all.
Ricardo Sr. and Jr. who knew him from their N.Y. days are absolutely devastated by the news.
We will always remember his happy smile and his good friendship.
Our deepest sympathies and thoughts go out to this entire family and friends!
Petra Santos (Hamburg, Germany)
Jochen Ploog (Hamburg, Germany)
Ricardo Santos, Sr. (Quito, Ecuador)

My heart goes out to the family and friends of JJ. I am long time friend from California with his sisters Tash and Monique. Although this is a senseless loss of a life I know it will not be in vain. It is because of people like JJ that our country will be stronger and more united than ever. Love to all.

Christa Aufdemberg &
Dana Magenau

christappl@aol.com
Tustin, CA USA - Tuesday, September 25, 2001 at 12:01:14 (PDT)

Dear Diane and Joao,

Our deepest sympathy to you and your family in this terrible time.

I hope you will be able to get some small comfort from the
outpouring of all the wonderful memories expressed in these
messages.

Joan and Ted Miller

I have been a friend of the family for close to 20 years, and it was around 1982 when I first met JJ (Joao) when the familiy was living in California. It was visible then the ease in which he made acquaintances. After a couple of years in Los Angeles, I moved back to N.Y. and lost contact for sometime when the family moved to Portugal. Coincidence would have it and through a mutual friend of ours, we met again, this time in New York (Long Island)and kept in touch eversince. I admired the ease in which JJ would blend, enjoyed his sense of humor and most of all I cherished his approach to life. We will all miss him terribly.
Joao and Diane,you should be very proud of the fact that you raised a wonderfull young man that touched so many of us with his simplicity and thoughtfull ways. God Bless.

Jbrito1955@yahoo.com
Edison, N.J. USA - Tuesday, September 25, 2001 at 11:25:11 (PDT)

I met Jay only one time. That was at the high-school graduation of my wife's son, Troy Bottrill, Jay's cousin. I enjoyed Jay's company for the short time we were together. He was a friendly young man -- smart, with a bright future. I remember that a year or so later my wife asked for his advice ("free") about how to invest her profit sharing money. Jay gave her good advice, and I thank him for that. I think that is a good example of what a giving person Jay was. I am so sorry for all the members of his family. I know his uncle Vic, and I also met his sister, Taciana during that same weekend. To Jay's Mother and Father and sister Monique, and to Vic and Taciana I extend my deepest hopes that you will be able to cope with and eventually overcome this terrible tragedy. To Jay's cousin Troy I can only say try to be strong. Jay was a true young American who would have made our country stronger had he been given all the time he deserved. Sincerely, Garry

My most vivid memory of JJ was when he, Tati, Monique, my brother Erik and I were having a crab apple fight in the Aguire's backyard in Red Bank, NJ. Someone must have hit a passing car with a crab apple, because I remember a very angry man emerged yelling at us. Our mothers caught sight of what was going on and I'm sure we were all grounded later that afternoon.

I probably haven't seen JJ since those days in Red Bank, but after reading these stories from his friends, family and loved ones, I can get a picture of the man he grew up to be. It sounds as though he loved life, and certainly had some wonderful experiences with people he cared for.

Diane and Joao, may you find peace in your hearts knowing how loved JJ was. Tati and Monique, you must have many funny, loving memeories of your brother. Keep those memories alive in your hearts and cherish them. My thoughts are with you all.

Krista (Valdur) Watt

I had only met JJ once, although i spoke with him every day for the last year or so. It was at a Christmas party for our clients and we hung out pretty much the whole time. Ours was a business relationship, but a very friendly one. A typical phone call would usually include alot of laughter, and "off color" banter.(you guy friends know what i'm talkin' about.) I was always telling him, "J,(i always called him J)we gotta get togther for dinner one night", but we never seemed to make it happen.
Man, i wish we had. I actually spoke to him that morning as soon as i heard about the first one. I wanted to make sure everyone at KBW was alright. He said "yeah, we're O.K., it's the other building, but i'm gettin' the hell outta here." About 20 minutes later, i couldn't believe my eyes, when i saw the second plane hit his building. My knees buckled and my heart sank to the floor in disbelief.I could only hope he left when he said he would. From what I've learned since, he was very instrumental in getting everyone out of there. I can only imagine the grief and sorrow felt by his family, Lisa and all his close friends . My thoughts and prayers are with you everyday.
I can see by reading all the comments in this guestbook how he was truly loved and will be greatly missed.

Although I never met JJ face to face I established a telephone relationship with him over the past 3 years. During those 3 years I was fortunate to learn about JJ on a professional as well as personal level. On behalf of Morgan Stanley I would like to extend my deepest sympathy to JJ's family and friends. He will be missed.

I did not know JJ but have learned from Margaret and Vic that he was a cherished family member and friend. The thoughts and prayers of the nation and world are with all of you.
Janet Flanner

Only a brave man choses his death in circumstances where everyone else's is fatal.
People looked up to you then, the whole world looks up at you now.
Soraya

MY CONDOLENCES TO DIANE AND JOAO, TOTI AMD MONIQUE. MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU. I REMEMBER JJ AS A TEN YEAR OLD CHILD IN NEW JERSEY GOING TO THE BEACH CLUB WITH HIS UNCLE VIC. JAY WAS WONDERFUL AS A CHILD AND A WONDERFUL INFLUENCE ON MY SON TROY.HE WAS VERY SUPPORTIVE TO TROY AS HE WAS GROWING UP. MUCH THANKS TO JJ AND HE WILL BE MISSED. AGAIN MY HEART IS WITH HIS FAMILY AND I FEEL YOUR LOSS ALSO.

I only knew of JJ indirectly through my aunt and his parents in Portugal. After reading all of the comments in this guest book it is clear that he was a special person and someone I would have liked to have known. To Diane & Joao, and to his family and friends, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

JJ, JUST WANTED TO WRITE DOWN A FEW THINGS, TO THANK YOU & TO LET YOU KNOW I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU AGAIN....
WE MET OVER 14 YEARS AGO WHEN MY FAMILY MOVED TO PORTUGAL, YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON I MET AND YOU INTRODUCED ME TO EVERYONE, YOU WERE ALWAYS READY TO PARTY EVERY SINGLE TIME I MADE IT OVER TO NY AND I WAS SO PLEASED YOU AND LISA MADE IT OVER FOR MELANIE'S AND MY WEDDING JUST OVER THREE MONTHS AGO. YOU HAVE ALWAYS MADE ME LAUGH AND NEVER FOR ONE MOMENT DOUBT YOUR FRIENDSHIP. EVEN NOW AT THIS VERY SAD TIME, WHEN I REMEBER BACK IT DOESN'T TAKE TOO LONG BEFORE YOU MAKE ME SMILE AND LAUGH AGAIN. A TRUE FRIEND AND A GREAT GUY, YOUR BUDDY BOB.

My association with JJ is not direct but rather through chatting with his mother "Colares" on an internet bridge site and knowing Bev Lawrence. As a mother of two young, vibrant men, my heart weeps when I think of your loss. With profound sympathy.
"BlueCloud8"

kclark1@mediaone.net
Kensington, NH USA - Sunday, September 23, 2001 at 10:36:12 (PDT)

Dear Diane and Joao
We cannot express how shocked and sad we feel about your bereavement. We are with you both with our thoughts.
He must have been a wonderful young man.Koos and Angie

Although I did not have the privilege of meeting JJ, I have known his parents for some time, moreso Diane through club activities. All I can say at this very emotional time is that Diane and Joao can count on me at any time in future. I will be right here in Cascais and my heart goes out to both of them. Our thoughts and prayers are with JJ.

Luisa and Bill

We are friends of Diane through bridge and didn't know JJ. But through all the letters sent in to this website we are able to get some insight about this unusual young man. He is defined over and over as having his own rare blend of dignity, sincerity, honesty, talent, personality, good naturedness, humor and above all friendship. His life had come together in his business and personal life and all was well in the world for him. Those of us left behind must try to remove our own sorrow from the picture and be grateful for the completeness in his life.
Jan and Chuck Collins, Cascais Portugal

I am a dear close friend of Diane and João. I met JJ when he was just a little toddler. The family moved back to the US and then I saw him again as a little boy in New Jersey. When they returned back to Portugal, one could tell right away that JJ was gonna be a success not only professionaly but socially also. I followed his "life" through his parents, and saw how he made everybody proud. I can not beleive that this has happened, he will ALWAYS be remembered in my prayers and thoughts. May God bless him and keep him safe. Diane and João, my heart goes out to you, and when you get back count on me for anything and everything.
Love Rina

ccunha@onthego.pt
Cascais Portugal - Friday, September 21, 2001 at 10:39:59 (PDT)

I met JJ for the first time through Francis Bull (my boyfriend). We live in Portugal and we went over to the UK for a wedding last June. JJ and Lisa were there together and all I can say about the weekend was that it was one big laugh! At any time that laughter was present, JJ was too and Francis and I can only say we had a great weekend due to JJ. We flew back to Portugal with JJ and Lisa who then went to his parents to enjoy a summer break. We met again during this time and had more laughs. JJ, I did not know you very well but got to know you quickly and what I knew I loved. I pray for you every day and will never forget you! My thoughts are with your family and Lisa.
All my love,
Patricia

I was in Florence, Italy when Cato and I saw the World Trade Towers go down. There were three persons that came to mind, JJ being one of them. We could only pray and hope.

We met JJ at Skips many years ago, I didn't realize how long ago it was until I started going through our picture boxes. The first picture I came to was JJ and my husband, Cato dancing in the rain. It was the day of the hunt(maybe 6 years ago) and the Haskell Estate was rained out so Uncle Skip had the Hunt party at his house. We needed some horses to bet on so we set up an obstacale course around the house. JJ was one of the horses. Eager to participate in the competition. The guys got soaked, and even fell in the mud a couple of times. I'm not sure who won the races but when I look at JJ dancing in the rain it brings back wonderful memories.
I have some other pictures,let's see, Halloween, JJ wearing a white bandana, he wasn't big on the creative costume. What was your costume a pirate? He has that great smile on his face, you know the one when he was having a good time.
Some other pictures I have are the volleyball court at Skip's, JJ's on my side, I think Dee took the picture. Next, him sitting with the group on the beach, he is sitting sideways so if you glance too quickly you can hardly see him. And last wakeboarding, the guys used to invite me along to take pictures. JJ was great on a wakeboard. He was into the whip. Neil would turn the boat and JJ would whip around as fast as he could.....and of course with a big smile on his face. Cato and I would just laugh.

For many summers JJ would walk or rollerblade to our house on friday nights on his way to Skip's from the train station, sometimes he would call for a ride, all those summers before the BMW. We would sit around on the porch and drink lots of wine.
I never knew that JJ could be such a happy and changed man until he met wonderful Lisa, I am so glad I got to spend some time with both of them together this summer. I am so sorry your time with Lisa was short lived, although It gives me comfort to know that you felt the pleasures of true love, for that you are lucky.
I will miss you very much. Teach the angels how to play volleyball and leave a spot on your team open for me.
I love you!
Gwen
Special thanks to Rick for this website, it really helped me out.

cato@monmouth.com
Long Branch, NJ USA - Thursday, September 20, 2001 at 14:36:23 (PDT)

I was going through some old pictures and came a few of JJ, which I will try to get posted. Anyway one picture brought back a very happy memory. We were at the Sea Gulls Nest, JJ, Skip, Neal, Brian,myself and I'm sure several others. A local radio station was there and let us get up and sing (although I don't think they actually broadcasted us). I remember how hard we laughed, Bri dedicated the song to his Uncle Ronny, and the song we sang was "God Bless America".
There was a guy walking around with a thong and have to say had a pretty nice butt. JJ & Neal made me stand with the guy and they took our picture. We laughed that night as well as so many nights until it hurt. I will always cherish those memories and the times we had with JJ.

deeclaf@aol.com
Sea Bright, NJ USA - Thursday, September 20, 2001 at 07:34:43 (PDT)

I had the extreme pleasure of meeting JJ through our business dealings when he was at Fuji Bank. When we first met face to face I knew that I would be friends with him for my lifetime. We used to say " It's not about the business but about being friends" to each other all the time.
Last friday night I drove down his block in Hoboken after the candle lighting vigil and saw candles placed on his steps. I had to pull over as the tears ran down my face. I started to think about the times I would go and pick him up to play tennis and how he used to jump off the front steps of his apartment with a big smile on his face and instead of opening the door to my car, he would just jump in(Its a convertible). This is how I remember him. Smiling, happy to see me, and sincere.
I never had the pleasure to see him together with Lisa but every time I talked to him he would tell me how happy he was with her. He seemed completed.
I apologize that it took me so long to post my letter but I had a hard time getting to finally opening this photo album. He was a friend and I will miss him so very much.
To his family and friends, I know that most know this already but I need to say it. JJ was a good person and a good man. I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to spend time with him and befriend him. There will always be a place in my heart for him.

Tom Halpin

JJ and I met in Portugal at St.Julians.He was such an adorable cute skinny little boy with braces on his teeth.We must have been fifteen or so when he gave me my first kiss I got red up to my ears,we were so young.Already he was a charming honest down to earth person.I had such a crush on him,he had no clue,later we joked about these times.I visited him at Skips and after that we got together several times in California were I was living and talked on the phone every day at least once a day when we were not together.I was so fortunate to have him in my life again.JJ was a wonderful person full of hopes and dreams.He had an amazing gift to befriend people everywhere,everyone loved him.I have so many wonderful memories with him,what a great smile...He has touched my life and made me a better person without even knowing,there will always be a space in my heart for him.I was so happy to hear that after a hard time in his life,he had finally gotten what he so much wanted and deserved job,freinds,family and a soul mate,my heart goes out especially to all of you.
And yes,live your life fully and mindfully.I will not wait to say I love you and to kiss my wonderful husband daughter and two sons.
Catarina

Acsevely@yahoo.com
Mountain View, CA USA - Wednesday, September 19, 2001 at 12:24:52 (PDT)

The last memory of JJ I had was a couple of summers back racing catamarans with Dwane. JJ and I gave Dwane a little head start and off we went. JJ out on the trapeze yelling at me that they were getting away, and me yelling back at him to hang on an don't fall off the hull of the boat. I will always remember JJ that day and what a genuinely nice person he was and just great to always be around.

Olvingelec@aol.com
Atl Highlands, N.J. USA - Wednesday, September 19, 2001 at 12:09:19 (PDT)

Every Thanksgiving me and my family go down to NJ and spend our Thanksgiving at Uncle Skip's house. I always look foward to this because this is one of the very few times a year I get to spend time with my family a year. It's always a joyus occasion and there are always new friends and family there. Over the years I can remember JJ being there most of the time and I always got excited because I looked up to him and my cousin Michael so much. They were older and shared jokes that I didnt quite understand because I was so much younger. But last Thanksgiving he brought his girlfriend and she was so sweet and nice, the whole family loved her. They were so lovey-dovey, it was so cute. JJ always seemed so happy and always had fun. There will be an empty seat at Thanksgiving this year, and it just won't be the same. We will all miss him dearly. I can still hear his laugh and see his smile before getting yelled at or questioned by my Aunt Sharon or my mom wondering what he is doing with "the kids"! He was a great guy and will be missed dearly.
Love,
Rachel

Pete and I are very close neighbors of Lisa, J.J.'s lady. We met J.J. for the first time about 2 weeks after he and Lisa had first met. Having been friends with Lisa former husband, we were quite skeptical about J.J.'s arrival on the scene. Needless to say, those feelings were quickly dissuaded by J.J.'s outgoing personality and fun-loving attitude. We quickly became friends and there was always a "hi neighbor" wave and a chat when we were all out working in our yards. We spent many enjoyable evenings together both at our house and "theirs", playing pool, talking, laughing. J.J. had a bit of a devlish humor, and loved taking the mickey out of people.
We have tried to be there to help and comfort our dear friend Lisa, because we know how much she is hurting, but our efforts seem so little. So many lives have been touched by this tragedy and our hearts go out to all the friends and relatives of those so senselessly taken away from us. Much of the period of grief is behind us, but the mourning will never end. We hope the cherished memories will strengthen and comfort those who live on and that where ever J.J. is he knows how much he is loved. We'll miss him terribly. Mere and Pete Janssen

pemere@optonline.net
Colts Neck, NJ USA - Wednesday, September 19, 2001 at 08:32:47 (PDT)

I met JJ at St. Julians in Portugal. There we all passed many great moments and now I seem to remeber them even more vivdly. JJ was a very popular person, and for a good reason. I had no heard from him for many years until some months ago. I then started exchanging emails with him and it was as if no time had passed, except for the catching up ! In any case, at the time he told me that what was missing from his life was a woman he could love. You guys filled in the gaps, as after this he met Lisa.

However small the time I once more had to share with JJ, I feel terribly sad that this should have happened and it only makes sense because nothing else does. I would only wish to say to Lisa that she mde the difference in his life, which even I, a more casual friend, could see.

I'm glad we are all remembering him, as if nothing else, lets not forget that each day exists for itself, and holds no promise of another.

I met JJ through my brother Rick. Every time I came up to visit Rick would ask me if I had met his friend J yet, but it wasn't until a few days before Rick and Susan tied the knot that I was able to meet him. I sat with him at their rehearsal dinner and he just kept making me laugh. I was a bridesmaid at Rick and Susan's wedding and I was to walk with JJ down the isle. As soon as I showed up (as nervous as I could be) he greeted me with a glass of wine, what a gentleman. He reassured me that he wouldn't let me fall down the stairs that we had to go down. Sure enough we safely made it. I'm glad to know that my brother could have such a great friend, because being so far away I worry about him. Rick called me about 20 minutes after the attacks and it broke my heart to hear his sobs. The first thing he told me was that he knew his best friend JJ was in one of the buildings. JJ where ever you may be, please watch over my brother and all those that loved you. God be with you, you will be missed.

rozymaree@cs.com
Springfield, MO USA - Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 20:20:40 (PDT)

JJ was a good guy. I met him down the shore at Chris Wier's shore house with Rick. Just about everytime I went to a party, he was there. Speaking of the shore, I am sure some of you (and you know who you are)will remember the time we were all down there, joking with these 3 retarded nut-jobs in the parking lot of some beach bar after it closed. They were harrassing some poor cop who thought he would just ask the pesky out of towners to move along... I cannot think of a time where I laughed so hard, I fell to my knees I was laughing so hard. I can't believe none of us were arrested!

Paintballing, was a lot of fun. The pic in the gallery is when I went for the first time with those guys. I am sure JJ didn't appreciate Rick shooting him in the back of the head by accident. My first day was not a stellar one, I would take a step and get capped. Rick and JJ were running all over like maniacs, kicking ass and taking names! :)

I had so many good times in his company, and it bothers me that I didn't know him as well as I could have. I guess I always figured there would be time.

pixel8ion@aol.com
Hoboken, NJ USA - Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 19:31:30 (PDT)

I first met JJ when we lived together at Skip's. There was a rare honesty and sincerity about him that let both of us feel safe to be 'angry young men' and be open to each others influences. In time, he became more than a friend, a kindred spirit and brother (there have been times we have been confused for each other-something I'll never understand). He introduced me to ways of thinking and being. He never fell short on dignity-who else do you know to have the nerve to talk his way out of a mugging or take a few punches to protect a friend from an angry fist (yes, he did both). After I left for California, 9 times out of 10, he was the first familiar face I'd see when returning east-that was his guarantee. It is easy to accept he was doing the right thing to be taken from us-that would be doing things his way, and so it did not surprsie me to hear that had he not helped and stayed behind, others may not have made it home that night. But to accept, at a point in his life of being in such clear order-the woman of his dreams w/ him, the professional exams and rights of passage behind him, the light at the end of the tunnel brightly gleaming on his shining face, that just makes no sense at all. I don't think it ever will. If miracles have ceased, I will miss him dearly with all the love in the world. Good night, sweet prince.

Michael Masterman-Smith

mansmith@ucla.edu
Santa Monica, CA USA - Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 16:27:37 (PDT)

Lisa has been one of my very closest friends for 13 years. Even after I moved to California we remained close. I just moved back to NY in July and was lucky enough to spend some time with Lisa and JJ. Lisa is a wonderful person. It was great to see her so happy with JJ. We all wish that kind of happiness for our friends.
It was clear immediately what a good person JJ is...in fact, Lisa was able to join me for trip to CA in August to surprise another friend because when JJ heard I was going out for a bachelorette party for someone Lisa also knows, he said, "you should go too. I will take care of the horses." And he really meant it. The weekend was so much more fun for me and for the bride to be with Lisa along. Then, only two weeks ago, Lisa and JJ came out to the Hamptons to stay with me and my sister and father. My Dad just turned 70 and he and JJ really hit it off and JJ and Lisa insisted on buying him a birthday dinner. After the weekend, JJ sent me a message and asked for my Dad's email saying he thought he was very interesting and would like to keep in touch. My Dad enjoyed getting the email and was happy JJ was putting him on his joke distribution list. Because Dad has been on that list he has gotten the many messages of JJ's large group of friends searching for him and praying for the best. Dad said he was not surprised that JJ has so many friends since he is such a good guy.
Even in the brief time we spent together, I instantly knew that if JJ did not make it out of the tower, it was because he was probably helping others and letting others go first. That is JJ in a nutshell. JJ definitely qualified for an express ticket to Heaven.
I will keep praying for JJ and giving Lisa whatever support I can.
Leslie

alohabarbi@aol.com
New York, NY USA - Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 13:58:13 (PDT)

It is apparent from reading the other messages that EVERYBODY loves (Joao) JJ. How could we not love and enjoy a guy who has a way of making us laugh.
The very first time we ever met JJ, it was at our holiday party last year. The door bell rang, the door opened, and in an instant it felt like we had known him for years.
Almost a year later, friends still refer to JJ and Lisa as 'the lovebirds'- the couple who sat in one tiny chair, Lisa on his lap, sipping their drinks, sharing kisses and smiling all night long.
We have spent some great times with JJ and Lisa since then, BBQ's, tennis at the park, just hanging...JJ always made us laugh and smile.
We would like to extend our deepest sympathy to Lisa, JJ's family and his many friends as we know this is a very difficult time for everyone.
We wake each morning with the hope that there is still room in this world for one more miracle.

God Bless.
Gina and Michael Sontarp

I was lucky enough to spend an hour with JJ the night before this unjust tragedy. I pulled up to Skips to walk Beau and he was sitting in his BMW talking to Charlie on his cell phone. He was as cool and together as I have ever seen him. We walked out on Skip's beach and he was throwing balls for my dog Beau. He talked about how happy his life is with Lisa. He talked about giving up his apartment with delight--not that he stayed there much--but it was time. He talked about the horses--the farm. I said that I wanted to start riding horses again and he said to call Lisa for training. That she was "that kind" of a person that would drop things at a moments notice and be "flexible" as I needed for my schedule and that she was training a friend the same way. His words showed how fond and in love he is with her, his new life. He seemed calm and at peace with his life. Skip, JJ and I we went down to Sally Tees for a drink and dinner and he wouldn't stay for dinner because he wanted to get home to Lisa and took off in a nasty storm to get home. I will always cherish those moments. I am lucky to have spent that time with him--I was lucky to have had a small friendship--many days on the beach at Skips and volleyball--lots of volleyball on the beach. I remember his smile that would light up a room. JJ was quirky, silly, and you never quite knew what he might do or say next. He is so full of life and I will miss him.

When Skip called me and told me JJ was in the Trade Center and that he had spoke with Neil moments before the crash I sobbed uncontrollably. I wasn't even thinking of him missing. I thought of the traumatic event he was going through as I watched from our window.

JJ--I wish for you a safe haven, a calm and peaceful place with the happiness today that you shared the last night that I saw you. God Bless and keep You.

Your friend,

Hannah

hrt8@home.com
Atlantic Highlands, NJ USA - Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 09:08:08 (PDT)

I knew JJ through Rick, my Brother-in-law. It makes me glad that all of my contact with JJ was at wonderfully happy events; Susan's birthday, Rick's bachelor party (man how he wanted that BMW!), the rehearsal dinner and wedding. That is how I'll remember JJ. Laughing, wise-cracking, and completely genuine. O.K., Maybe just a little drunk at the wedding too!!!

God Bless.

I cannot even begin to express the sadness and sorrow that fill my heart right now. I am still in shock that anything like this could ever happen. JJ is my soul mate. We were making so many plans together for our future. I know that JJ was truly happy...with life, reconnecting with friends and family, with his career, and with us. I don't even have to say what a kind, compassionate person he was. I will miss him forever and I'm having a hard time imagining life without him. He did not deserve this....noone deserved this. I am trying to pray for a miracle but it is getting harder to do. I am thankful to all of his family and friends for their thoughts, prayers and support. If anything can be taken away from this it is this: Embrace life, go home and hug your wife, husband, or children. Reconnect with friends who are special to you. Tell people you love them...DO NOT WAIT!!! The last words JJ said to me the morning he left for work are "I love you honey...I'll see you tonight"

lsinger@optonline.net
Colts Neck, NJ USA - Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 07:01:51 (PDT)

I was fortunate enough to see JJ the night before this disaster happened. He seemed happy. As a matter of fact the past year he has seemed so much happier, since meeting Lisa. I can remember so many times when we would all be partying at Skip's, or wherever and how JJ would get so obnoxious with the girls, we would want to strangle him sometimes. I would give anything to have him here being obnoxious once again. God Bless him and everyone one of you.

JJ & I were class mates many years ago here in Portugal. Then we met up again at Bobs wedding this summer in England, it seemed the years had not passed and we picked up from where we had left off, a sign of true freindship.

We caught up, we celebrated Bobs wedding in style (he got the nick name Hot Tub Harry!). I saw him a couple of times back in Lisbon after the wedding weekend and he was truly happy with life & Lisa.

To reiterate what has already been said "its just not fair!".

Lets all keep up the hope, the prayers, as hope never dies.

I had gotten to know JJ very well over the past 5 years. I remember the first time we really connected. We had just come from a bar in the city and had to get back to Hoboken via the PATH train. Well, we were more than a little drunk and started talking not realizing that we were going the wrong way. So at 3AM, we ended up in Newark. We laughed at ourselves for hours. That was one of the first times we really got to know each other.

During that waiting period on the train platform he told me that he wasn't happy with life. I was just the opposite. I had always been an optimist and told him that life is as good as what you put into it.

Since that time, I had seen so many positive changes in his life. In his job, in his realtionships, in his whole life. Just before this happened, he really started having fun with life. He loved his job, he loved his car, he loved Lisa, he loved his friends, his family.

It's just not fair.

graphixkid@hotmail.com
Jersey City, NJ USA - Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 04:57:02 (PDT)

I knew JJ when he was a little skinny kid!! I used to hang out at his parents house in Portugal and me and his sisters used to kick him out of the room for us to have "girl talk" and JJ would always laugh and tease us about it, he would never get mad.Of course, at the time being 2 years older was a big deal!! I kept hearing how he was doing through his parents and I was proud of his life and success. He definately touched all those that he met and we should consider ourselves fortunate enough to have been blessed by knowing him.

ccunha@onthego.pt
Lisbon Portugal - Tuesday, September 18, 2001 at 01:53:53 (PDT)

I hardly knew JJ although I've known him for a long time, I never had the opportunity to hang with him enough. But, what I did know of him I liked very much. He was alot of fun and he'll be missed at the next and every other gathering.

ldickson@nyc.rr.com
Astoria, NY USA - Monday, September 17, 2001 at 22:04:09 (PDT)

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